Bunnie’s Blog

life has its way of challenging you. it has its own little tricks. it gives you obstacles that will really test your faith and strength. it will test how long you can hold on. sometimes it seems a bit confusing, what should be done or is there something that you havent done or are you doing the right thing? you may also wonder why people think of you in a certain way or why do they see you in a different light. when you know deep down in your heart that is not you and all that you want for them is to have a good life also. even how much you try to reach out there is just this gap that cant be filled and this gap gets bigger. maybe its because they dont know the REAL you after all. that just goes to show what kind of relationship one may have with the people they are "close" to. as the mtv diary slogan goes "you think you know…but you have no idea"! its really sad to realize that the people who you thought are the ones who should know you inside and out, people who are close to your heart are the ones who dont know who you really are. what they know of you is just the basic of the real you. they havent gotten to the root of what kind or person you are or can be. it may not be their fault totally…maybe its your fault too. you cant just point your finger at one person. its a given fact that you cannot please everybody. its just a hassle sometimes when you find yourself in situations that you know you tried or are trying but still it doesnt work. but still the love you have for them is endless and will never change. there are times also you get the feeling that you just want to  break free from all the stress life gives you. it sucks..true! but thats reality for you!

one realization, no man is an island. even if you feel you want to be alone — it just cant happen. when a person is down, in trouble or is just simply sad or depressed, she needs a strong pillar where she can lean on. if not everything will just crumble. its good to have these people around you and these so called pillars in a persons life are rare. its not an easy open can type of thing. be thankful and lucky if you have someone or people like them in your life. because i know i do and i thank God for that!

"I’ve been down and I am wondering why…These little black clouds keep walking around with me, Waste time and I’d rather be high. Think I’ll walk me outside and buy a rainbow smile but be free…be all free…"

people make mistakes and people deserve a second chance. i believe so, because i got that chance. a chance that was given to me which i will not take for granted. i thought i was going to lose the greatest thing i had but i didnt and i thank God for that! i prayed so hard. i just wanted to voice out to that person, that it wasnt my intention to hurt anybody. but deep in my heart i know what i did was all wrong! but i am proud of myself because i was brave enough to admit my mistakes…it was a risk i had to take but i know i had to let it all out. just to start with a clean slate. no more worries at my end and it feels good!

there are consequences equivalent to what just happened to me, i know! i guess its up to me now on how i should handle it. but thanks to that person who gave me that "chance" and thanks to my friends who enlightened me on this. i wont mess up again! i love you all!

last friday night i was in this messed up mood. i wanted to get out of the house and just relax and break free from all the stress. but because of the damn traffic in zapote which clogged up almost all the streets, i couldnt go anywhere! bummmer!!! so gin couldnt pick me up because it was traffic in BF too. so i ended up staying at home and started ranting to gin all my frustrations through text. what a way to end my night!

anyway, last night i had another bottle or two session with the dad of gin, kuya jan and gin of course! last night just compensated everything. maybe not everything but majority of what i was feeling. it felt good to be accepted by such a wonderful family. its also nice to know that my future hubby is seriously thinking about our future life together. from the wedding to where we are going to live and what happens after the wedding. which i discovered through tito lits. with all the problems i have now, i felt "safe" last night. there was this amount of hope i felt that gin and i will be different from our parents. the mistakes they made we wont do the same. being married? its not going to be easy i know…but rest assured i know i am in good hands and i will try to be that wife i know i can be to gin. being married is a lifetime commitment and there are going to be a  lot of bumps and turns and there is no turning back. its indeed scary when i think about it but its a journey i want to take!

i remember asking my married girl friends this question: "how do you know that he is the one for you?" what answer do they give me? "you’ll just know!" at first i couldnt understand that. how will you "just know"? the answer seemed so vague to me at that time. but now i do! so to the ladies out there who are in search for finding that right partner…dont rush! it will just come if its meant for you. in time…and you’ll just know if HE’s THE ONE!!! believe me!!!

why do people sometimes feel as if they have done so much but then its still not good enough? who do i have to do so that they wouldnt feel afraid or sad or whatever for them not to feel what they are feeling? i am at a daze right now…thinking of so many things. thats why i thought of putting this in my blog. to release all of this pent up emotions! because i cant seem to focus on my work. i have been trying to find answers to these questions i have in my head. a good friend of mine said prayers do work…although sometimes i still cant help but question that. it  may sound wrong to some people..because i know ones faith is very vital to keep up with the struggles one goes through in life. ( believe me, i want to be strong) but all i want to have right now is peace of mind and to be enlightened with the things that are happening to me and the things/people surrounding me. God knows i love everything and i am thankful with what he has given me and with what he has blessed me with. but my question right now is WHY? what do i need to do? so many questions huh? given the present situations i am in, i still try my best to continue praying and keeping the faith! i know life has so much better things to offer…i only want to know when this is ever going to happen! how i wished everyone could just be happy and not worry so much! too bad it aint that way!   :-( 

but as the song goes… "its alright, i’m ok…i think GOD can explain!" in his time…

its been a constant struggle for me to balance both my work and my business. dont get me wrong i am not regreting anything! although i have to admit at times i want to give up either one. but there are different reasons that come to my head that dont make me do so. i cant give up work because of course for obvious reasons i need constant income.  another reason is i dont want to give up my business because i already invested in it and i know eventually in the coming years it will become a BIG time catering company. so i dont want to put everything to waste! as my partner says we are not quitters. but there was this one day wherein i really wanted OUT. i was getting a major headache that i ended up getting a migraine because of the stress from work and pressure from my biz. i didnt know what to do honestly! at that point i realized that its really difficult to balance work and having your own business. good thing gin was able to talk to me and made me realize the lighter side of things and so did my partner. but i still get this hiya feeling towards her because i am not 100% visible or i dont get to help her in preparing stuff all the time. just like today. we have to prepare packed lunch for 25 people. but i cant help because i have a meeting. because of these situations it makes me think twice. because i feel i am not giving so much to the business because of my work. i dont know…its just this thought that keeps on coming back. i really hope and pray that everything will fall into place. how i wished money was so easy to earn! but i am thankful that in the past 2 months i can say our business is doing well. yes, we’ve had our share of mistakes but we just charge it to experience and we will do better next time. theres always room for improvement right? we’re just starting anyway. oh well…thats all!

To Gin…new song for u.. :*

Baby I See You Working Hard
I Want To Let You Know I’m Proud,
Let You Know That I Admire What You Do
Don’t Know If I Need To Reassure You, My Life Would Be Purposeless Without You (Yeah)
If I Want It (Got It)
When I Ask You (You Provide It)
You Inspire Me To Be Better
You Challenge Me For The Better
Sit Back And Let Me Pour Out My Love Letter

Let Me Help You
Take Off Your Shoes
Untie You Shoestrings
Take Off Your Cufflinks (Yeah)
What You Want To Eat Boo? (Yeah)
Let Me Feed You
Let Me Run Your Bathwater
Whatever You Desire, I’ll Aspire
Sing You A Song
Turn My Game On
I’ll Brush Your Hair
Help Put Your Do Rag On
Want A Foot Rub? (Yeah)
You Want A Manicure?
Baby I’m Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy

[Chorus]
Let Me Cater To You
Cause Baby This Is Your Day
Do Anything For My Man
Baby You Blow Me Away
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want Just Let Me Cater To You
Inspire Me From The Heart,
Can’t Nothing Tear Us Apart
You’re All That I Want In A Man;
I Put My Life In Your Hands
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want, I Want To Cater To You

[Verse 2 Kelly]
Baby I’m Happy You’re Home,
Let Me Hold You In My Arms
I Just Want To Take The Stress Away From You
Making Sure That I’m Doing My Part (Oh)
Boy Is There Something You Need Me To Do (Oh)
If You Want It (I Got It)
Say The Word (I Will Try It)
I Know Whatever I’m Not Fulfilling (Oh)
No Other Woman Is Willing (Oh)
I’m Going To Fulfill Your Mind, Body, And Spirit

I Promise You (Promise You)
I’ll Keep Myself Up (Oh)
Remain The Same Chick (Yeah)
You Fell In Love With (Yeah)
I’ll Keep It Tight, I’ll Keep My Figure Right
I’ll Keep My Hair Fixed, Keep Rocking The Hottest Outfits
When You Come Home Late Tap Me On My Shoulder, I’ll Roll Over
Baby I Heard You, I’m Here To Serve You (I’m Lovin It, I’m Lovin It)
If It’s Love You Need, To Give It Is My Joy
All I Want To Do, Is Cater To You Boy

[Chorus]

[Bridge Michelle]
I Want To Give You My Breath, My Strength, My Will To Be Here
That’s The Least I Can Do,
Let Me Cater To You
Through The Good (Good)
The Bad (Through The Bad)
The Ups And Downs (Ups And Downs)
I’ll Still Be Here For You
Let Me Cater To You
Cause You’re Beautiful (You’re Beautiful)
I Love The Way You Are (You Are)
Fulfill Your Every Desire (Desire)
Your Wish Is My Command (Command)
I Want To Cater To My Man
Your Heart (Your Heart)
So Pure Your Love Shines Through(Shines Through)
The Darkness We’ll Get Through (So Much)
So Much Of Me Is You (Is You)
I Want To Cater To My Man

Something good happened to me today. But only Gin and my family know about it. Well for me its nothing really big but it somewhat relieved me from some of the stress i am going through right now. What happened to me today, made me realize that good things can still happen to you even if you think or feel that everything is just messed up. I dont want to elaborate anymore the things that i am going through in this blog. Although the people who are very close to me know what i am refering to here.

God is good and He does listen to your prayers. We just have to be patient. Which i admit am guilty of not doing at times. The significant things that happen in ones life like what happened to me today doesnt dramatically change everything but it lifted my spirits up. I know i should be thankful and i was thanking Him while i was seated on my office chair this morning and doing my work. There are still so many things that i have to attain and fix in my life. But at least right at this moment I know God is listening to me and i know He is really there for me. Maybe it takes time for Him to answer my prayers but i know He will in His own time. As the song goes… "In His time..He will make all things beautiful in His time!" It may not be the exact thing that i pray for but i am sure what He will bless me with will be even better.

Just wanted to share this moment. Because it really made my day! Thats all!

Last night, I went to Metrowalk in Ortigas with Gin and met up with his eldest brother, Kuya Jan and his wife Ate Aima. We stayed in this Itallian resto called Capisce! The food there is very good and not to mention the resto was made by my asawa! Anyway, I needed to unwind from all the stress that’s why I decided to go with him there. Of course, first thing we did when we got to Metrowalk was we visited 2 of his other projects. A boutique and a jewelry shop. I was kind of waiting impatiently  while Gin was talking to the workers because my stomach was growling like anything. That was already 8:45pm and the last time I ate was at 9:30am but i had a few sunflower crackers in the afternoon. That was it!!! Finally, we went to Capisce and I had a Mushroom Risotto..OH MY!!! The taste was so heavenly! Its very rich and high in calories with all the butter. But what the heck..it was comfort food for me! While I was eating Gin started gulping on his first SML for the night then after an hour Kuya Jan and Ate Aima arrived. Then I had my beer too. I drank a couple only. I dont drink much. Of course the 2 brothers drank God knows how many. Hehe! Had a very fruitful conversation with the 3 David’s. Talking about money matters, married life, our families, the kids on their side of the family (such cuties!), and how to invest our money and all. I am glad Gin and I were able to talk to them about certain things. At least he was enlightened with all the emotional rollercoasters hes been going through. Kuya Jan and Ate Aima were advising us on how we should plan for our future since Gin and I are already planning on getting married by December next year. If we only had the money! Thats the only problem…thats the only factor and of course some of the responsibilites he has with his family as of the moment which I fully understand! Gin is just going through so much stress now.

All i can say is that Gin and I have a long way to go and a lot of things will still come up. Issues or whatsoever. But one thing is for sure..Gin and I promised each other that we will work harder and help each other reach our dream of finally settling down by December 2006. I cant wait to see or how he’s going to give the ring he got me. Haha, Kuya Jan i think slipped his tongue mentioning that the ring Gin got me is really nice! Whatever it looks like…what matters to me is just to spend the rest of my life with Gin and to have wonderful kids with him. That’s all! Gin asked me last night, how is he different? TOTALLY DIFFERENT!!! Cheezy as it may sound but he brought back the life in me when I thought there was no hope for me of finding someone my family will like, someone who will love me, respect me and take good care of me. But I was wrong…GIN was the answer to my prayers. God is good and does work in mysterious ways! He’s blessed me with such a wonderful person.

Before ending the night, we ordered food from Bacolod Chicken House. Mga matatakaw kami!!! Then the two brothers werent yet satisfied with the bottle of beers they had. We transferred to this bar called Aruba still in Metrowalk. All through out our stay in Metrowalk it was raining. It was kind of chilly! Finally, the two decided to call it a night. Ate Aima and I were both so sleepy already. That was at 2:45am. For the last stop Gin wanted to show his brother and sis in law the projects he was working on so we passed by the site for a few minutes. I got home at 3:30am…fell asleep at 4am. Right now while I am making this blog…my eyes are ready to shut. I AM SO SLEEPY!!! I am in the office right now. Had to wake up early. Well, til the next "a bottle or two sessions" I have with gin and his family. SAYONARA!!!

Here is something that a friend of mine sent through email. The important things in life — your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions.

___________________________________________________________________________

Your Life

When things in your life seem almost too much to
handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough,
remember the mayonnaise jar…

A professor stood before his philosophy class and
had some items in front of him. When the class
began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and
empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf
balls. He then asked the students if the jar was
full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the
golf. He then asked the students again if the jar
was full.
They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and
poured it
into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything
else. He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with a infamous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee
from under the table and poured the entire
contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty
space
between the sand. The students laughed. "Now,"
said
the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want
you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things. Your
family, your children, your
faith, your health, your friends, and your favorite
passions. Things that if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter.
Your job, your house, and your car. The sand is
everything else. The small stuff. "If you put the
sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no
room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same
goes for life. If you spend all
your time and energy on
the small stuff, you will never have room for the
things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to
your happiness. Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18.
There will always be time to clean the house and
fix the disposal.
Take care of the golf balls first, the things that
really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just
sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired
what the coffee represented. The professor
smiled. "I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show
you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there’s always room for
a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

ina and i had two events to cater for this week. thanks to toni! she referred us to her boss. i am proud to say that it was a success! although i have to admit it’s really difficult to have a full time job and a "sideline" business at the same time. but man was i exhausted!!! i never felt so tired in my whole life. i think i am going to lose weight because we dont get to eat with all the things we have to fix and think about. ina and i became cooks, waiteresses and a driver (right ins? hehe!). but IT WAS ALL WORTH IT! it felt good when people were asking for our calling cards. but we still dont have calling cards to give away…its coming soon! thanks to oliver for the design i am so proud of me and ina. whats good about it also gin and jon were proud of us too. to our better halves…thanks for all the love and support! ins, congrats and thank you! to the both of us more power and we have to catch up on our ZzzZzzz’s…hehe! need to pamper ourselves over the weekend til our next catering!

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