Archive for October, 2005

chances

Monday, October 24th, 2005

people make mistakes and people deserve a second chance. i believe so, because i got that chance. a chance that was given to me which i will not take for granted. i thought i was going to lose the greatest thing i had but i didnt and i thank God for that! i prayed so hard. i just wanted to voice out to that person, that it wasnt my intention to hurt anybody. but deep in my heart i know what i did was all wrong! but i am proud of myself because i was brave enough to admit my mistakes…it was a risk i had to take but i know i had to let it all out. just to start with a clean slate. no more worries at my end and it feels good!

there are consequences equivalent to what just happened to me, i know! i guess its up to me now on how i should handle it. but thanks to that person who gave me that "chance" and thanks to my friends who enlightened me on this. i wont mess up again! :) i love you all!

realizations

Saturday, October 22nd, 2005

last friday night i was in this messed up mood. i wanted to get out of the house and just relax and break free from all the stress. but because of the damn traffic in zapote which clogged up almost all the streets, i couldnt go anywhere! bummmer!!! so gin couldnt pick me up because it was traffic in BF too. so i ended up staying at home and started ranting to gin all my frustrations through text. what a way to end my night!

anyway, last night i had another bottle or two session with the dad of gin, kuya jan and gin of course! last night just compensated everything. maybe not everything but majority of what i was feeling. it felt good to be accepted by such a wonderful family. its also nice to know that my future hubby is seriously thinking about our future life together. from the wedding to where we are going to live and what happens after the wedding. which i discovered through tito lits. with all the problems i have now, i felt "safe" last night. there was this amount of hope i felt that gin and i will be different from our parents. the mistakes they made we wont do the same. being married? its not going to be easy i know…but rest assured i know i am in good hands and i will try to be that wife i know i can be to gin. being married is a lifetime commitment and there are going to be a  lot of bumps and turns and there is no turning back. its indeed scary when i think about it but its a journey i want to take!

i remember asking my married girl friends this question: "how do you know that he is the one for you?" what answer do they give me? "you’ll just know!" at first i couldnt understand that. how will you "just know"? the answer seemed so vague to me at that time. but now i do! so to the ladies out there who are in search for finding that right partner…dont rush! it will just come if its meant for you. in time…and you’ll just know if HE’s THE ONE!!! believe me!!! :)